Written 7/26 en route to FSM!
Orientation is officially over and team FSM is en route! The
six of us have been on quite the journey the past two days traveling from
Newark to San Fran to Hawaii, sleeping overnight in the airport (this group of
people + sleep deprivation + concrete floors + stolen airplane blankets = a
good time, guaranteed) and finally taking a 10-hour island hopper which will
take us to our respective islands after stopping in Majuro and Kwajalein (both
in The Marshall Islands), and Kosrea (one of the four states of FSM).
The past two weeks at University of Scranton felt like our
own mini theology-international-education-and-mission-work grad school. Our 12
hour days were packed with sessions on topics ranging from mental/emotional
health, empathetic listening, and teaching in an international context, to
power and privilege and spirituality in a changing epoch. We broke off into our
respective country groups (Equator, FSM, Chile, Nicaragua, Tanzania, Peru, and
Belize) and had the chance to talk to FJVs (former Jesuit Volunteers) who came
to impart their wisdom on us newbies. We talked a lot about self-care. What are those practices that you need to do to keep yourself healthy? Running, reading, being alone? We brainstormed and shared and helped each other because when we’re in the field for two years, we have to take care of ourselves.At night we crowded into the community
room for snacks and evening entertainment ranging from cards and bananagrams to
a talent show and orientation prom.
After about a week of long, intense days we were met with a
wonderful treat: the Silent Retreat. All 40-something volunteers piled onto a
bus and drove into the Poconos to stay at a retreat center on Chapman Lake for
38 hours of silence. The directions were simple: you can do anything you want
to for 38 hours…except talk or acknowledge one another. Sleeping, reading,
running, journaling, napping, slack lining, writing letters…anything was fair
game as long as it involved zero talking. The idea behind not
smiling/acknowledging one other during silent retreat was simply because you
don’t know what another person is thinking or wrestling with at any given
moment. You don’t know what train of thought you could be disrupting by giving
them a pat on the back or a smile. We were all a bit skeptical of the whole
thing at first, but the experience was one of my favorite parts of orientation.
I finally had the chance to process every handout I’d read and conversation I’d
had. I ran and wrote and talked to God. I sat on the back porch, rocking in an
oversized white wooden rocking chair, and watched squirrels climb skillfully up
the trees and boaters enjoy lake recreation. What stuck with me most from
silent retreat was the power of experiencing silence in a communal environment.
Even though we didn’t exchange glances or words for two days, I felt a deep
sense of community – we were experiencing this silence together. When we
finally broke the silence, the group felt closer, in a deeper way than we had
been before.
Sometimes, I liken silence to a really good stretch after a hard
run. You know it’s gonna hurt if you lean into the stretch…but you also know
that it’ll feel really good a few seconds later. It’s the same thing with
silence – you know that it will hurt a bit in the beginning, but if you lean
into it past the pain, it’ll be exactly what your soul needs, and you’ll be
better and stronger because of it.
With this renewed spirit, we jumped into the second week of
orientation with enthusiasm and brains ready to soak up knowledge. I had the
chance to write a mini theology of mission, basically why I’m doing what I’m
doing. I wrote something along the lines of: I come to FSM with the posture of Jesus –
to sit, listen, and learn. I want to engage with the culture via my host family
and my students. I
come to offer my skills as an educator (and become a better teacher in the
process) and do what the Jesuits and Pohnpei Catholic School ask of me rather than implement new American programs or what I think the school might need. I
seek to serve out of my abundance and give in a sustainable way, finding joy in the challenges and teaching my students to do the same. More than I want to give my students the education they deserve, I want to show them that they are loved, capable, and cared for.
"Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything." Fr. Pedro Arrupe
