On Letting People Love Me

            As a teacher, I spend my days helping 28 exuberant students fill their brains with knowledge. Most days include a generous helping of chaos and at times a sprinkling of tears, but 3:30 always manages to roll around and we’re all there, smiling, in one piece. My students see the world with a joy that is contagious. “Teacher Emily, a FLOWER. This is a FLOWER!” Besides soaking in their childlike awe and excitement, I witness their daily light bulb “aha!” moments when they realize that they actually can read that word or they can do that math problem.

            I had an “aha” moment the other day, too, while skyping with my parents some 5,500 miles and many oceans away. Before the conversation even began I could guarantee you that sometime, mid-conversation, my Dad was going to ask me, “Em, what can we do for you? How can we help you?” As sure as there'll be 90% humidity and sunshine in Pohnpei this week, my Dad will ask that question. As someone who would rather help others than ask others to help me, my brain immediate wants to say, “I’m great Dad, no help needed!” But, honestly, there’s not one ounce of truth to that statement. I’ve just moved to a foreign country thousands of miles away from my family. I am in my first year of teaching and I'm pulling together my own curriculum for a grade I've never taught before in a country I've never lived in. Lets face it, I need all the help I can get.

            In this particular conversation we chatted about my students and my weekend at my host family before the inevitable ‘how can we help you?’ question came up. And that’s when it happened - I had my light bulb moment. I may be the one physically in the FSM, but he and my Mom and so many others are playing just as important a role as I am. They love me and support me, which makes me able to teach and love my students. My parents? They get it. They are here with me. They are part of God’s plan by being so eager to hear my stories, pray for me, and send school supplies for my students. And it’s not just my parents but so many other friends and acquaintances sending everything from homemade jam (thank you Bertolucci's!) to cards, care packages, and letters sharing what they're doing in life and asking how I am. The fact that there are people out there willing to do that? Willing to pray and read my blog and walk through this teaching abroad journey with me? That is wild. That is the Church. That is community. And that is God incarnate.

            We were created by a community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in Genesis 1:26 (“let us make man in our image”) and designed to walk through life in the same way. Even though I am on a tiny island in the North Pacific, God doesn’t ask me to be an island. He gives each of us many unique callings and missions throughout our lives, but he doesn’t expect us to do them alone. We can only fulfill these callings by leaning on the Holy Spirit and by letting people love us. By really letting myself soak in the support and encouragement that I’ve received since starting my JVC service, I am a better teacher, a better community mate, and am becoming more and more like the woman God made me to be. I am learning. Learning to be better at letting people love me and am finding that, in return, I am better able to love others.